Wednesday, May 1, 2019

MOTB

Did Winnie the Pooh say, "I will be back."
Or Christopher Robin?

I will look that up.

Silence - half of February, all of March and April . . . I have been writing . . .
just not updating this blog.

May 1, 2019

That sounds like a new start.
There has been a blog post running through my head and it is time to get it on paper,
er, blog post. I was reminded of it when Krysta and I were shopping for fabric for her
wedding.

Krysta held a bolt of white fabric up to her face and said, "Won't I look so pale on my
wedding day? I think I need to get a tan before June 29th." This question and statement
made me laugh.

You see, if Krysta is going to be a bride that means I will be the mother of the bride. (MOTB)
This has never happened to me before. So far in our family weddings I have been
the mother of the groom. Three times. It was an enjoyable position. I always thanked my
lucky stars that I didn't have to start out as (MOTB)  - because I was sure I would be a failure.

I am not an organizational whiz. In fact if someone else wants to go to all that work
"more power to them" I always say. Just give me a job back here in the corner and I will be
happy. I'll clean or wash dishes or do food prep (or sit in another corner and read my book
or crochet or knit.)

The other reason I laughed was the memory of a story from a master story teller.

Robert Fulghum

He wrote ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN

I have been collecting his books for a number of years. When things happen that remind me
of his stories I laugh again and go look up the story. This one about the MOTB is in his book
IT WAS ON FIRE WHEN I LAY DOWN ON IT

(That sentence reminded Robert of a quote he had copied in his journal. It was written in Latin,
from the writings of Horace. "Quid rides? Mutato nomine, de te fabula narratur." The translation: "Why do you laugh? Change the name, and the story is told of you.")

The story of the mother of the bride tells of a wedding disaster to end all disasters. Mother
had planned everything down to the minutest detail. When at last she sat down at the wedding
she breathed a sigh of great relief. While nine bridesmaids floated down the aisle Dad and the
bride were wandering around between tables piled high with delightful hors d' oeuvres. The
bride was tasting these yummy creations, then her dad gave her a glass of pink champagne
to "calm her nerves."

So when the bride started down the aisle the only thing people noticed was her white face.
And when she got about even with her mother she threw up -- actually Robert says
"she hosed the front of the chancel--hitting two bridesmaids, the groom, a ringbearer and me."

A never to be forgotten wedding!

I was thinking about weddings today -- and getting ready for them. It kind of reminds me
of getting ready to have a baby. At about seven or eight months into the pregnancy the
mother-to-be is planning the nursery d├ęcor and cleaning and going to Lamaze classes and
practicing all the breathing techniques and relaxing exercises. She is educating herself and
her husband by reading every book she can find about labor and delivery. She is walking
every day and trying to keep in shape because she's been told "labor is like entering a marathon"
and "this is the hardest thing you will ever do!"

She is thinking inside her head, "What have I gotten myself into?" And "I'm stuck!"
"There is no way out of this! I can only go forward." Gathering every ounce of fortitude
she prepares for the BIG DAY!

That's sort of how I'm feeling right now. I've even begun to walk a mile every day to get my
energy up and build up my fortitude. It's not that I, in those long ago days as a mother-to-be,
would have gone back and changed anything. I was thrilled beyond words with each of my pregnancies.

And I certainly wouldn't go back and change anything about Allen and Krysta's courtship, engagement and up-coming wedding. It just seems like the past twenty-one years since Krysta entered our family have flown by with the speed of light!

About that education . . . if any of you who have been the MOTB have any bits of wisdom to
send my way I would be most grateful to hear from you. When you think about our family in the
next two months you can send up a prayer for all of us.

I want to be like that other MOTB. At the 10th anniversary of this calamity, she threw a party.
Set up three TV's to show three videos of the gory scenes. The part that I admire about her is
that she was able to forgive everyone involved, including herself. And she was able to laugh at
herself. Robert Fulghum says, "There's a word for what she has. Grace."


P.S. I forgot to say - the title MOTB is not original with me.
It is borrowed from Robert Fulghum's story.